When Grief Comes to the Workplace: Helping a Grieving Co-Worker

As a society we are not very comfortable with the subject of death.  Things become even more complicated when a loved one of a co-worker dies.  What the grieving person needs most often is for others to listen and to care.  Here are some ways that you can help a grieving co-worker.

1. During their absence, a phone call or a card is a good way to let them know that you care.  Perhaps you can inquire if your company or organization will be acknowledging the loss by sending the employee a card or flowers or a representative to the funeral.
2. When your co-worker returns to work take a moment to express your sympathies.  Don’t worry about trying to find the perfect words or worry about saying the wrong thing.  The important thing is to let them know how sorry you are that they are going through such a difficult time.  Something like “I am so sorry for your loss”, is a good place to start.
3. Listen to them.  If and when they are ready to speak about what they are going through, just listen.  Follow your co-worker’s cues.  Every few days ask them how they are doing.  Give them an opportunity to talk about how they are feeling.  Let them talk about their grieving experience at their own pace.
4. Share the workload.  Your co-worker may find it difficult to concentrate, become distracted, and feel numb or tearful.  Let them know you are willing to share the workload with them for a while until they are able to assume their regular routine.
5. Continue to include your grieving colleague in the work routine as well as social events such as lunch or going for coffee.  Let them chose the amount of social interaction they need.
6. Do something practical and specific for them such as prepare a meal they can take home or offer to run an errand or do a chore. Don’t tell the grieving person to call you if they need something – take the initiative to call them.
7. Be patient.  Everyone grieves in their own way.  People don’t “get over” the death of a loved one – over time they learn to live in spite of their loss.  As a co-worker you can help by expressing your sympathies, listening to them, sharing the workload and allow them to grieve in their own way.

Grief Resources: Dawn Cruchet, Grief Reactions Associated With the Workplace

Technorati Tags: grief, counselling, counseling, therapy, phone therapy, telephone therapy, telephone counseling, workplace, co-worker, help, death