For most of us, feeling down during the holidays is often the result of too much to do, not enough time, fatigue and financial stress. While some of us don’t have enough quiet, alone time, others have too much. Some folks face a special challenge during the holidays – loneliness. Sometimes people are alone because a loved one has died; sometimes people are alone because of fractured relationships. Whatever the reason, feeling alone is an even heavier burden at this time of the year.
Watch your negative self-talk. The first thing is to be aware of your self-talk. Self-talk is an ongoing series of inner messages about yourself, others and the world around you. What are you telling yourself about being alone and lonely during the holidays? Do you blame yourself? Do you blame others? Be aware that your negative self-talk is a self-fulfilling prophecy. One way to change your negative self-talk is to shift the focus away from yourself and onto others. Reach out to someone like yourself and invite them to join you for a meal or a cup of coffee. There are many people who would welcome the invitation to spend some time socializing.
What can you do to combat loneliness this holiday season?
- Volunteer your time. Opportunities to volunteer are endless. They range from reading stories to children at your local school, driving seniors to doctor appointments, getting involved with Meals on Wheels, to preparing food baskets. Call your local volunteer bureau – the need for volunteers is especially great at this time of year.
- Re-connect with friends.This is the perfect time of year to re-connect with friends. Send them a card, an email, or give them a call. Offer to meet for a coffee or go to a movie.
- Do something.Get involved in a hobby that you can do in a group. Singing or painting or stain glass - find something that you’ve been meaning to do and give yourself the gift of time and enjoyment.
- Events in your community.Read your local newspaper for community events that would be of interest to you. Often your local library will invited speakers to discuss a wide range of topics. Get on the mailing list of your local book store so you will receive announcements of author readings.
- Get moving. Join the gym, a running group, or take up a team sport like curling that will give you all kinds of opportunities to get together with likeminded people and make new friends.
- Use what you've got.If you are housebound you can still reach out to others, especially others who are housebound, by phone or by mail. Organize a small network of people and take turns checking in with each other.
You need not be alone during the holidays if you are willing to reach out to others in your community. Take a chance, get involved. Who knows – the holidays might not be so lonely after all.
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