Positive Perspectives

Telephone Counseling: (Eastern Ontario, Canada)

There is an article about telephone counselling in Canada called Dialling Up Doctor (online at the National Post, by Rebecca Field Jager, that quotes me, Lucy MacDonald (Eastern Ontario, Canada) about how to make the most of counselling by phone. A well-written, balanced article on the pros, and cons, of phone counselling.

Here is the excerpt:

TALK THERAPY TIPS

Lucy MacDonald, a therapist in Eastern Ontario, offers a few suggestions for getting the most out of a telephone counselling session.

1. Choose a space at home or the office where you will not be interrupted. If possible, or necessary, let others know that you will be on the phone for the next hour and do not want to be disturbed.

2. Turn off call waiting and cellphones so there are no distractions or interruptions.

3. If you are a parent, wait until your children are in bed or at school before your scheduled phone session.

4. Have a "starting point" question or statement when approaching your first session. For example, "I am feeling angry most of the time and it is having a negative impact on my coworkers," or "My teenaged daughter has decided she is quitting school and we don't know what to do." 5. Have a pen and paper handy to make notes and write down any questions you might have.

Meditation as Noticing

Noticing is a meditation technique in which we simply acknowledge an occurrence, such as "standing up" or "pleasure." Noticing can be used for both external events and internal events (e.g., thoughts and emotions). This technique is a means of focusing our attention and achieving an objective viewpoint. Noticing is similar to the Gurdjieff's technique of "self-remembering."

Benefits of Noticing

1. It helps us to be attentive to our activities (external or internal); for example, when we think the word, "pleasure," we are reinforcing our mindfulness of the state. However, noting might be considered an intrusion of abstract thinking if we prefer to experience the state non-verbally.
2. We can create an impersonal, non-judgmental state in which we are less attached to the action; for example, we are observing the "pleasure" rather than experiencing an identification with it (i.e., "I am feeling pleasure"). Thus, we can disengage from unwanted states more easily. But we do not try to change whatever we are noting; we merely recognize it.
3. 3. We become more conscious of the ever-changing flow of phenomena, thoughts, and moods. For example, a minute ago, we noted that we were "worried" but now we note that we are "happy." With this perception (and our verbal affirming of the perception), we dismantle the limiting concept that we are any particular type of person ("happy" or "worried"); thus, we are free to acknowledge more aspects of ourselves.

The Techniques of Noticing

1. We can notice during any activity. For example, while washing dishes, we would say, "washing." At other times, we might notice listening, or typing, or relaxing, or chewing, or cutting, or other activities.
2. We can say the word once, or we can repeat it constantly during the activity, e.g., "washing washing washing washing washing" and so on.
3. We can use additional words. Instead of simply saying "pleasure" (for example), we might say a phrase, e.g., "Pleasure is happening again."
4. We can use noticing meditation with other forms of meditation. Other authors have mentioned noticing in its application to mindfulness meditation, thought meditation, moving meditation, walking meditation, and breathing exercises.
5. We can be more explicit. For example, instead of "washing," we might define the various stages of washing, e.g., "scrubbing" or "rinsing." Similarly, in our noticing of emotions, we might go from a vague "sadness" to a more-specific "disappointment." And instead of noticing "thinking," we might note "worrying." However, our attempt to be more precise might require too much mental analysis; for example, while we are wondering whether an emotion should be noted as "fear" or "anxiety," we are not being attentive to the emotion itself.

excerpt from James Harvey Stout's Human Handbook - used with permission

Dog Cat Radio.com

If you've left the television or radio on to keep your pet company while you're out you  are not alone. Now you have the choice of tuning to an internet radio station www.DogCatRadio.com founded by Adrian Martinez, for a playlist and conversation geared to your furry friends that hopes to banish your pet's separation anxiety. You have a pet that only understands Spanish?  No problem -  "Spanish Hour,"  is from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. Pacific time daily. Your pet the only one on the block with an iPod? Download the recorded podcast outside of the live radio hours from 4 a.m. to 9 p.m. Pacific time.

Balancing Time: Work Life Balance

Seventy percent of working adults say they don’t have a healthy balance between their work life and their personal life. (TrueCareers 2002).

What is work life balance?

Work life balance is a personally defined approach to managing your priorities that allows you to co-ordinate multiple competing personal and professional commitments and results in physical and emotional well-being. Work life balance is affected by your stage in life: from student to your first job to family life. Work life balance is not only for people with families;it is as important for a single person as it is for a retiree.

Being chronically out of balance – either at work or at home – can leave you feeling exhausted, cynical, and out of control of your own life. The idea of control is a crucial aspect of health and well-being when discussing work life balance. When you manage your time in such a way that you are able to work, relax, spend time with friends, play a game of golf, or read to your children, you have a sense of control over your life and are less likely to feel angry, anxious, and guilty that you should be doing something else.

Your sense that something is missing in your quality of life may be the first indication that you need to divide your time more equitably.

Before you being your work life balance journey it might be helpful for you to describe what work life balance means to you. It is also important to identify if there are any obstacles in your way: perhaps an employer, or a profession, or you are unclear on how you are actually spending your time.

Some Suggestions
Once you have an idea of what you what to achieve and the obstacles you need to overcome, here are some ways to put it into practice.

1. Ask your employer for a more flexible work schedule. Sometimes arriving or leaving work a half hour earlier or later can make a huge difference in your qualify of life. Offer to make up the time or take a reduction in pay. If you have an employer who is completely rigid, you might want to look for a new employer where work life balance is company policy.
2. Job sharing is another flexible work option that might just work for you, especially if you have small children and don’t want to work full-time. After parental leave some parents negotiate the sharing of one job with another parent in a similar situation.
3. Be organized. When you are organized at home and at work you will save yourself time and aggravation. Knowing where your keys are or being able to find that important file with your medical information will give you a sense of control and free up time better spent on more important things.
4. Maintain clear boundaries between your work life and your personal life. Turn off the cell phone, stop checking your email, and create some space where you can actually have a life outside of work. If you have a home office, the simple act of closing your office door sets up a physical boundary between your work space and the rest of your home. Very few of us have work life that actually requires us to be connected 24 hours a day, seven days a week. 
5. Take a disciplined approach. When you are at work do you best to focus on the task at hand and when you are at home focus on your home life. Say no when your mind drifts to a problem at the office when you are listening to your partner describe their day or when you are going for a walk.
6. Block off time that is sacrosanct and don’t trifle with it. Perhaps you would like Friday evenings to be spent relaxing with your family. Be bold and schedule that time in ink! Don’t let anything interfere with this time. Leave a message on your mobile phone and office phone telling people you are spending time with your family and let them know when you will be checking messages and returning phone calls.

It is important to remember that while you are striving for balance, life happens. Work life balance is like a teeter-totter – it is up and down. You may need to take care of a sick parent, or return to university while you still have young children, or perhaps you are starting a new business. You know that for a certain period of time things are not going to be as balanced as you would like.  Find support through family and friends knowing that you will find the balance when you can.

Are you a workaholic?

Being a workaholic is a socially acceptable addiction – no one looks down on a hard worker.  Being a hard worker is applauded and encouraged.  There is nothing wrong with being a hard worker, with loving your work, feeling satisfied when you have put in a long day, and going the extra mile to make sure a project is completed on time. 

Hard worker or workaholic?

The difference between a hard worker and a workaholic is control.  The hard worker is in control of how hard and when they work and there is a balance between work and the rest of their lives. The workaholic, on the other hand, feels anxious when not working, finds it almost impossible to relax, and sometimes resents the time spent with family and friends. The key indicator that the workaholic is out of control is the negative impact on personal relationships.  Spouse and children often suffer because there workaholic is spending so little time at home that the relationships deteriorate. Children of a workaholic parent often complain about the lack of time spent together and workaholism can be an important factor in divorce.

Workaholics in every profession
Workaholics can be found in virtually every profession and work setting; doctors, lawyers, carpenters, teachers, social workers, managers – no occupation is exempt.  Professions that use hourly billing, corporate culture that rewards those who work extra long hours, the self-employed and entrepreneurs are especially at risk.

Workaholics pay the price
Work addiction extracts a physical and mental toll. Stress caused by burning the candle at both ends can be the cause of a myriad of symptoms: high blood pressure, anxiety, skin rashes, an ineffective immune system, insomnia, bouts of anger, impatience, nausea, and back and joint pain.  If the workaholic does not slow down and learn to enjoy time away from work, they are at risk for burnout.

Although burnout is not a medical term the burnout experience is very real. 

Burnout
Burnout that is related to work addiction can be conceptualized as a type of depression that develops as a response to work-related stress - in this case, spending too much time at work.  Burnout develops over years and is characterized by physical exhaustion, sadness or depression, taking longer and longer to complete work responsibilities, shame that you can’t work as hard as you used to, poor concentration, and inability to make decisions.  Most workaholics wait until their symptom are debilitating and are often physically unable to work.  At that point, rest and recovery are required. Burnout often forces us to re-assess who we are in relation to work, why we do that particular kind of work, and what needs to change in order to find a middle ground between work and the rest of our lives. A graduated re-entry to work, with a renewed sense of purpose and willingness to work differently, will ensure that we can be happy and healthy.

Recovering from Workaholism: Steps to Making A Comeback
The road back from workaholism and burnout can sometimes feel painful and slow, but it is imminently do-able.  These suggestions will help to get you started and stay the course.

1. Let go of the guilt and anxiety of not working 24/7. Remind yourself that you are a better employer/colleague/entrepreneur/student, if you take time to relax and rejuvenate.  You will be more efficient, creative, and productive.


2. Assemble a personal advisory board.  Ask three or four people, some from your business life, some from your personal life, to be part of your advisory board.  Consider people that you respect and admire; who have the kind of balanced life that you want to create.  Have an initial meeting and discuss your concerns about working too much and how you would like to change.  Ask them to give you suggestions about how to work less and still be productive. Remind them that you will call upon them on a need-to basis when you are feeling anxious or frustrated.  Invite them to check up with you periodically to see how you are doing.


3. Learn to delegate.  Relieve yourself of some of the work load by delegating chores to a trust employee. Practice trusting others to do the job as well as you would.  If you don’t have an employee, consider hiring someone to do those tasks which can give free up some of your time.


4. Give the important people in your life a chunk of your prime time.  Stop giving your family and friends your left over time at the end of the day or your spare time when not working on the weekends and give them some time when you know you are feeling happy and energetic.  Schedule some fun time on a Saturday morning when you would normally go to work. Set up (and keep) a date night once a month with your partner or with friends.


5. Take time to take care of your physical health.  Being in good physical shape has many well-known benefits but for the workaholic there is an additional one: it requires taking time away from work.  Schedule time to run, go to the gym, use exercise equipment at home; whatever you can do to help you get and stay in shape.  Exercise helps to manage anxiety and stress and produces mood-enhancing endorphins.  Exercising with others, like your children or friends will give you an added bonus of re-building your relationships.


6. As you incorporate changes into your work routine and working less hours, be aware that you may experience withdrawal symptoms.  You might find yourself feeling down, especially if you liked the adrenaline rush associated with a fast-paced, all-consuming work life. You might also feel agitated and impatient.  These feelings are normal and common when lessening the grip of the amount of time and energy you work consumes.

Excerpt from Lucy MacDonald's book Learn to Manage Your Time, available at Amazon.ca, Chapters, Amazon.com

Directed Imagination

What is directed imagination?

It is the use of our imagination to implant particular images into our archetypal fields. Later, when we are in those archetypal situations, we will tend to "act out" the images. The images could be those of a healthy body, or objects which we want to own, or activities (such as sports) which we want to master, or psychological qualities which we want to cultivate. (Directed imagination is similar to "visualization.")

Using your imagination
We use our imagination frequently throughout the day. We use it in our story-like fantasies and daydreams, and in our recall of memories, and in the mental pictures which we create to help us to understand concepts, and in the scenarios which we might use to plan a future activity (e.g., a vacation, for which we design our agenda by envisioning the places which we will visit). For some people, the "thinking" process is composed primarily of words; other people "think" primarily in pictures. (Albert Einstein, whose imagination helped to create the theories of relativity, said that very little of his thought process involved words.)

Directed imagination has been used successfully by many people.

1. It has been used by athletes. For example, ice skater Elizabeth Manley, and diver Greg Louganis, said that imagery helped them to win their olympic medals.
2. It has been used to treat medical disorders. Imagery has helped people who have migraine headaches, obesity, high blood pressure, and other ailments. (Please do not use directed imagination in lieu of medical treatments; we can visit a doctor and we can also use directed imagination.)

Techniques of directed imagination.

Self-talk statements.
We can associate a self-talk statement with an image. For example, while we say, "I am relaxed when speaking in front of groups," we imagine ourselves standing confidently at a podium.

Instead of saying words, we can visualize words which have meaning to us. For example, we can see the word "love" in large white letters. Try different words, different colors, different styles of lettering (e.g., script type, or all capital letters), different backgrounds (e.g., a blue sky, or a chalkboard). One variation of this exercise is to see the word (e.g., "love"), and experience its corresponding state -- and then allow the word to disappear while we maintain the state.

The as-if principle.
Whenever we act "as if," we can use directed imagination to affirm the action which we are performing; for example, if we are acting as if we are peaceful, we can create images of a relaxing place (e.g., a quiet riverbank).

Energy toning.
We can use energy toning (i.e., emotions and feelings) while we do directed imagination.
We add the corresponding energy tone. For example, if we are visualizing ourselves in a peaceful setting, we generate the energy tone of happiness. If we are visualizing a desired object or a condition (e.g., a healthy body), we implant the tone of enthusiasm and gratitude.

Use personal images.
We are more likely to evoke an energy tone if we imagine a scene with which we have a personal affiliation; for example, to evoke serenity, we would imagine our favorite beach instead of a fabricated scene of a generic beach.

• We enjoy the natural feeling of joy which arises when we use a pleasant image. The joy occurs because the image increases the flow of life-energy.
  We use the image with various energy tones. We are most likely to remember the images which we implanted when we were in an emotional state resembling our current state; for example, when we are depressed, we tend to refer to the same constellation (of thoughts, images, energy tones, and images) which we traditionally use when we are depressed. Therefore, we need to implant our images with a variety of energy tones, so that those images will be the dominant constellation in any mood which might occur in the future.
• We generally refrain from creating images of unwanted conditions. For example, instead of visualizing ourselves winning a battle against an intruder, we can create a positive image of ourselves resting securely within the walls of an impregnable fortress. (If we visualized the battle, we would be reinforcing that imagery within our a-fields.)

We can use our body's physical energy.
The body's vitality is added to the image-element if we use directed imagination while we walk, dance, exercise, clean our home, or perform other movements.

This is an excerpt, with minor changes, to James Harvey Stout's The Human Handbook. Used with permission.

Time Urgency and Hurry Sickness

photo by FABIOLA MEDEIROS   

Hurry Sickness

Everyone, it seems, is in a hurry. Every where we go we can witness the effects of “hurry sickness”: impatient people getting upset because they have to wait in line, drivers honking horns and flashing lights because the driver in front of them is not going fast enough. You might succumb to “hurry sickness” if you regularly complain that you are short of time; you have too many things to do so you try to get things done as quickly as possible; and, you get upset if you have to deal with a delay of any kind.

In the 1950s, Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman, coined the term “hurry sickness”, while studying personality types.  As a result, they developed the Type A personality which is characterized by time urgency/impatience, hostility, competitiveness, tenseness, and aggressiveness. 

Chronic Stress
Living in a state of chronic time stress has an adverse effect on your health.  Feeling constantly pressured for time can weaken your immune system, cause muscle pain, insomnia, headaches, and increase your risk for depression and anxiety.  Stress as a result time urgency and hostility can decrease the supply of blood to the muscles of the heart and studies have shown that these time pressure episodes can be a precursor to a heart attack.

As with many of our problems, the problem of time urgency can be modified and managed.  Are you unsure if you operate in a chronic hurried mode?  Ask a friend, family member of co-worker for their feedback.

Take and Make Time
Take time to do activities that require you to slow down. Visit an art gallery, listen to someone without interrupting them, do only one thing at a time, or take up meditation.  Practice patience when waiting in line – the proverbial “count to ten” is a quick and easy trick to use in those situations.  Of course, it is important to make sure that you leave yourself enough time to get your errands done in the first place.  Estimate how long each task will take you and factor in some time for any delays, like traffic or lineups.  Walk whenever possible, instead of driving; walking is good for you and it will help you to slow down.

Abdominal Breathing
Abdominal breathing using your diaphragm is another great way to slow down. In order to get a sense of abdominal breathing try it this way first: Place your right hand on your abdomen and your left hand on your chest. Inhale slowly through your nose, allowing your abdomen to expand first. Your right hand should move outward as you breath in and your left hand should stay relatively still.  Now practice it without using your hands.  This is an excellent way for you to reduce stress in almost any situation.  You might want to practice this the next time you have to wait in line. This is also a wonderful relaxation technique that children can use.

We all have the same 24 hours in the daily time bank.  Time is the constant so what needs to change are the choices that we make about how we use our time.

Five Things You Should Know About Forgiveness

Everyone has experienced hurt and betrayal.  How we deal with it has important implications for our mental and physical health.Social scientists have discovered that people who are able to forgive experience more joy, a sense of control of their lives, and less depression.
People who are unable to forgive experience more stress, have higher blood pressure (which is linked to heart disease), get ill more often, and have more chronic pain. Five things to consider about forgiveness:

1. Forgiveness is first and foremost for you. You are the main beneficiary of your choice to forgive. Wayne Dyer says, “Do it for yourself to provide the antidote for the poison that you have allowed to circulate inside of you.”
2. Forgiveness is a choice. Your quality of life is inherently linked to making the choice to forgive.  The unwillingness to start the process of forgiveness keeps us mired in the past, unable to live in the present and with a limited capacity to envision a positive future.
3. Forgiveness is not always tied to forgetting.  There are degrees of hurt – from shallow to deep.  We can forgive, and should forget, the shallow hurts. It is important however to forgive, and not forget, the deep betrayals so that you do not put yourself, or others, in a situation of being betrayed again. Desmond Tutu said, "In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we do not let such atrocities happen again".
4. Forgiving others is not excusing bad behavior or betrayal. There is no excuse for bad behavior. Period. Just because you forgive someone does not mean that what they did was okay. However, not forgiving them gives them control over how you feel.
5. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to continue to be in a relationship with that person.  You can choose to forgive someone and also choose not to have a relationship with them if the relationship continues to be toxic or harmful.

Choosing to forgive is a powerful, life-changing gift you give to yourself – a gift of health, happiness, and peace of mind.

Standing Tall - C. Vivian Stringer

Yesterday, on National Public Radio's, Talk of the Nation, I listened to the interview with C. Vivian Stringer, who is the head coach of the Rutgers University women's basketball team and has just celebrated her 800th career win. Her basketball team was the target of Don Imus' racial insults and the dignity of her response and her fierce defense of the young women on her basketball team will be remembered.

To get a glimpse of how Ms. Stringer arrived, and survived to become one of the most successful basketball coaches of all time, here are some of the life challenges she has faced: the death of her husband at age 47, her 14 month old daughter contracting meningitis and would never walk or talk again, and her own struggle with cancer.

As a child, Ms. Stringer's parents offered her this sage advice:“Work hard, and don’t look for excuses and you can achieve anything.”

Read more about her book Standing Tall: A Memoir of Tragedy and Triumph. You can listen to the NPR interview here.

Rock Paper Scissors Winning Strategy

Everyone needs a strategy when playing rock paper scissors (RPS) according to Graham Walker.

Photo by Geekgirly

Playing against a RPS beginner? "Against a beginner, play as paper. The reason? Most people pick rock."

Playing against an experienced RPS player? "Against a seasoned player, tell your opponent what you're going to throw and then actually throw it. Most people won't think you are crazy enough to telegraph your throw."

These quotes are from The Official Rock Paper Scissors Guide's author Graham Walker as reported in Men's Journal Magazine. Read these quotes in the Globe and Mail's Social Studies section written by Michael Kesterton.

Dr. Happy

Ode Magazine - billed as the online community for intelligence optimists, has a great article about French psychiatrist Christophe Andre a self-confessed pessimist who wrote the book called Vivre Heureux ("How to lead a happy life"). The article in the March 2008 issue, called Professor of Happiness is written by Peter Van Dijk.

Photo by xtheowl

Here are the first few paragraphs...

For the second time in two weeks, I took the train from the Netherlands to Paris, and for the second time in two weeks I missed my connection in Rotterdam due to a screw-up by the Dutch railway system. The first time I got pretty irritated. The second time I didn't.

The key was simple and as old as the hills, but it works like a charm: Try to enjoy the moment. During my second trip, I was reading Vivre Heureux ("How to lead a happy life"), a book by Christophe André, the French psychiatrist I was going to interview in Paris. In the first chapter he quoted Voltaire, who wrote, "I've decided to be happy because it's good for my health." Reading another of Andre's books, L'Art du Bonheur ("The art of happiness"), convinced me I needed to interview him.

André has written some 15 books. Vivre Heureux and L'Art du Bonheur are targeted to a general audience. He also writes scholarly books and has done a comic book with the artist Muzo, in which André explains and clarifies a number of psychological disorders such as paranoia, narcissism and hysteria for laypeople in a surprisingly light and funny style.

Read the rest of the article here.

Time: Quantity or Quality

The ancient Greeks conceptualized time as chronos and kyros. Chronos is clock time measured in seconds, minutes, hours, and is the root word for chronological and chronology. Kyros is timelessness, the here and now, synchronicity, carpe diem – seizing the moment. Chronos and kyros represent quantity and quality.

Isn’t that what our struggle with time is all about? The quantity is fixed and we are often unhappy with the quality or the way in which we are spending our time. While we agree on how long forty-five minutes is (chronos) it is experienced differently if you are sitting in the dentists chair as opposed to watching a fascinating movie (kyros).

How can we experience more kyros time and less chronos?  Doing one thing at a time, refusing to live an over-schedule life, and making time for the important people in our lives will help us to balance the quantity and the quality.

Excerpt from Lucy’s book, Learn to Manage Your Time.

Article on Learn to Manage Your Time in Globe and Mail

Article in today's Globe and Mail in the Monday Morning Manager by Harvey Schachter on my time management book: Learn to Manage Your Time.

Self-Management: Building Your Day Based on Priorities

"At the end of today, make a list of everything you want to do tomorrow. Then, Quebec-based consultant Lucy MacDonald advises in her book Learn To Manage Your Time, choose the six most important tasks and number them 1 to 6. Tomorrow, start the day with the first item on the list and keep working on it until you have finished it or have taken it as far as you possibly can. Then move on to the second task, and approach it with similar discipline, not moving on to the third item until the second is completed. You'll obviously be called upon to handle other tasks that arise during the day but she suggests taking them on only if they are more important than the task at hand. If not, put the item at the end of the list. "Even if you were not able to complete all six tasks that you had on your list by the end of the day, you have the satisfaction of knowing that you completed the most important ones," she concludes."

How to Think Like an Optimist

How are optimists different from pessimists? The fundamental difference between optimists and pessimists can be found in explanatory style. In the process of daily living we automatically attribute the causes of the events that we experience. The habitual way in which we explain things is called explanatory style. Your explanatory style is what you tell yourself and others when dealing with success and when facing a setback. 

A person with an optimistic explanatory style views a negative event as a temporary situation; that the negative event will not spill over and affect other areas of their life; and believes that negative events are due to external circumstances, not personal characteristics. Take the example of the marathon runner who is disappointed in her race.  She thinks, “Oh well, I have another race to run in two weeks and I can finish in the top five.” (bad events are temporary);” I will be ready to train for that race day after tomorrow” (bad events do not affect other areas of life); “It rained today and that slowed me down.” (bad events are due to external circumstances, not due to personal characteristics).

When explaining positive events, the optimist makes opposite attributions. The optimist believes that good events will last, will affect other areas of their lives, and they are responsible for creating the conditions for the good event.  If, for example, an optimistic person wins an award for writing an essay, he would say “I can write more award-winning essays” (good events will last); “winning this award will help me get a university scholarship” (will affect other areas of life); and, “I worked hard to come up with the right topic to help me win” (responsible for creating the conditions of success).

As a result of this positive explanatory style optimists tend to have a healthy sense of self-worth because they believe that they are responsible for the good things that happen and not responsible for the negative events. When people believe that they are responsible for what happens to them their perception is one of control. People who operate with the notion of being in control are happier, and less likely to suffer from depression. They don’t blame or put themselves down when things don’t go as planned. 

As a result optimists are willing to take risks when trying to achieve their goals, increasing the possibility that they will get what they want. If it doesn’t work out, they try again, because their attitude is that lack of success is not due to their inability, it is due to external circumstances. When you believe that negative events are temporary and that good events will last your mood is usually positive and stable over time.  If you are able to restrict the effect of negative events and allow the rest of your life to be influenced by a positive event you are able to manage your emotions.  Being able to manage your emotions is an important skill that will help you to get along with others and help you to achieve your goals.

by Lucy MacDonald, author of Learn to be an Optimist

The Mountain Movement: Innovative fundraising idea

If you would like to help the Stephen Lewis Foundation's work with AIDs in Africa but are not sure what you can do, read this article by Lynn Martel in the Rocky Mountain Outlook and see what other Canadian are doing. It just might inspire you to do your part.

"Canada’s Rocky Mountains are just about as far away from African villages swamped in the suffering of AIDS as anyplace could be.

But as Paul Zizka returns to his job as a dining room server at the historic Num Ti Jah Lodge on the idyllic shores of Bow Lake this summer, AIDS in Africa will be prominent in his mind.

Zizka, 26, has teamed up with several co-workers to create The Mountain Movement, a collective of Num Ti Jah staff, university students and volunteers from across Canada working to raise funds and awareness of HIV/AIDS-related issues in Africa."

Read the rest of the article Servers fundraising for AIDS in Africa.

For more ideas about how you can help read this post, visit the Stephen Lewis Foundation, and visit The Mountain Movement whose mission is:

"Help us help others. This summer (2006) in Banff National Park, we, a group of volunteers from across Canada are organizing a series of events with the goal of raising funds and awareness HIV/AIDS related issues in Africa.

Our chosen beneficiary is The Stephen Lewis Foundation, an organization that helps to ease the pain of HIV/AIDS in Africa by funding community-level projects that provide care and support to women, grandmothers, orphans and people living with AIDS."

Stephen Lewis: He continues to race against time

I wrote about Stephen Lewis' Race Against Time and raved about the speech he gave. Stephen Lewis is the United Nations General Secretary’s Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa. Stephe Lewis calls HIV/AIDs in Africa “the ultimate ethical issue”.”

No exaggeration - listening to his speech was and continues to be life changing experience for me. You can access Stephen Lewis' speech recorded at the joint conference of the American Counseling Association and the Canadian Counselling Association's April conference.
Audio Download lewis.mp3 Video Download lewis.wmv

If these links don't work you can also access his speech at the American Counseling Association.

After you listen to the Stephen Lewis speech here's a list of nine things that you can do today to help the Stephen Lewis Foundation.

1. Download the video or audio: invite family, friends, and colleagues to view the video and use it as a fundraiser. Give each person a copy of the video to take home with them to share with others.
2. Bring the video to your workplace and view and share over lunchtime – again use it as a fundraiser.
3. If you belong to a professional associaiton you could use the video as a fundraiser. Organize a meeting,  invite your members, ask them to share the video with others.
4. Invite all the grandmothers you know to watch the video and give them information about Stephen Lewis’ Grandmother to Grandmother campaign. There is information on the foundation site about how Canadian grandmothers can start a group, and/or donate.
5. Put a link to the Stephen Lewis Foundation from your website.
6. Write about Stephen Lewis’ work on your blog or website.
7. Consider tithing 5 or 10% of your income to the Stephen Lewis Foundation.
8. Buy a copy of Stephen Lewis’ book Race Against Time, read it, and pass it along to your family, friends, and colleagues. You can purchase Race Against Time at:
   Amazon.com, Chapters/Indigo, Amazon.ca
9. Write letters to the editor in the newspapers that you read in response to any AIDS in Africa stories in general and to specific articles regarding Stephen Lewis and the foundation.

Get more done: 101 performance boosters

Deena Waisberg's article Get more done: 101 performance boosters, in the May 2006 issue of PROFIT Magazine, has created quite the time-saving list. She interviewed me and the article excerpt is below.

Read with speed: Making short work of long reports

Who wouldn't like to accelerate their reading without missing meaning or sacrificing recall? You can do it, says Lucy MacDonald, a Montreal-based speaker and the author of Learn to Manage Your Time, by knowing what information you want from a document before you read it. If you only need an outline, for example, skim documents for essential facts. A detailed analysis requires you to slow down enough to absorb more information. Here are MacDonald's other top speed-reading tips:

5. Read the introduction and conclusion first
They will tell you whether the rest of the information is worth exploring.

6. Skim less important words
Look for key words and phrases that contain main ideas and skim over less important words. You'll immediately get the essence of documents.

7. Trace the Lines
Train your eyes to read quickly by using your finger or a ruler to guide you through lines of text.

8. Avoid repetition
"Keep reading even if you don't understand something right away," MacDonald advises. Core ideas are often explained more than once or elaborated on later in the document.

Other sections include: how to minimize office interruptions, the rules for delegating,where to outsource ordinary tasks, and how to spend time on what counts.

One Red Paperclip Update

When I first wrote about One Red Paper Clip Kyle MacDonald was at the beginning of his trading adventure. He is a trader extraordinare and wants to continue to trade up - starting with a red paper clip - for a house. He started in July 2005 and he has currently traded up to a year's free rent in Phoenix. Read all about his adventures at One Red Paper Clip.

Have something you want to trade for a year's free rent in Phoenix? Email him at  [email protected] or call him at 514-833-3980.

Stephen Lewis' Race Against Time

I had the priviledge of listening to one of the world’s greatest speakers (in my opinion), Stephen Lewis, the United Nations General Secretary’s Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa at a Montreal conference a few weeks ago.

Stephen Lewis calls HIV/AIDs in Africa “the ultimate ethical issue”.” (April issue of Time Magazine Canada article by Rebecca Myers, How the World is Failing Africa)

“He said the international community has lost “its moral anchor” and cited the industrialized world’s systemic failure to provide adequate aid to countries where the infected population of dead and dying could reach 100 million before the pandemic’s end.

Lewis specifically lamented the plight of women and called for the creation of an international UN agency to deal specifically with women’s issues. “Women are at the heart of the pandemic,” he said, with women and girls making up 76% of those infected between the ages of 15 and 19.”

I am just beginning Stephen Lewis’ book, Race Against Time, (published by Anasi Press), which starts off with his comment “I have spent the last four years watching people die.” Race Against Time is the written version of the 2005 Massey Lectures. You can listen to the first in the serious at CBC Radio where you can also order the broadcast series.
I urge you to listen to - it is unlike anything you’ve ever heard.

You can purchase Race Against Time at:
Amazon.com, Chapters/Indigo, Amazon.ca

You can get more information about the important and urgent work that Stephen Lewis is doing by visiting the Stephen Lewis Foundation.

Other links:
The Killing Train blog
Breaking the Back of the Pandemic
African Renewal
Blogcritic’s review of Race Against Time ”It is a book that everyone should read, that everyone should be frustrated and angered by.”

Join 100 Bloggers

Join 100 bloggers and be part of an exciting blog project. Some recent posts include: Creating Personal Momentum, Do It Right the First Time, Lost Boys of Sudan: Searching for Peace, A Touch (or Two) of Authenticity, and Pride Versus Self-Respect.

Here's what Troy Worman says about 100 Bloggers.
100 Bloggers is a global network of diverse individuals united by the common pursuit of personal growth.  When you join 100 Bloggers you will have instant access a community of writers that reaches from Boston to London and Portland to Hong Kong to Montreal (that's me).

100 Bloggers is the most diverse group blog on the Internet.  No other blog offers as eclectic of a mix of writing as the 100 Bloggers blog.

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